Apr 22, 2009

The Days of Whine and Poses

I read on Twitter today that there are more bad times happening at ePrize. I don't tend to put much stock in tweets but felt obliged to report to see if anyone could substantiate or refute:

"no bonuses at eprize and monthly commission delayed.

Not sure what kind of "bonuses" to which this refers -- perhaps the quarterly performance bonus that was always so easily snatched away? -- but delay of commissions is pretty bad. Of all the people you don't want to piss off, your sales force is close to the top of the list.

61 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, sounds like the Well -o- Cash hath runneth dry.

How long before payroll gets compromised or there's a REALLY massive layoff?

Anonymous said...

This does not bode well for me, as I both like and also want money.

Anonymous said...

This is not true... you have incorrect information. The company beat it's Q1 sales target, and everyone in the company is getting a bonus. To be at a company where people are getting bonuses right now in these horrible economic times is pretty great if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

Hmmh? Is that horse, cattle, no it definitely smells like bullshit to me.

Anonymous said...

Just let me know when the check clears, if it ever materializes.

Anonymous said...

So will the bonus make up for your 2 unpaid fridays a month that you still end up working? Smells more like kool-aid than bullshit to me.

Anonymous said...

How much of a bonus does one need to get to make up for the years shaved off of their life by working in such a stressful environment?

Call me crazy, but I don't think any amount of VC is going to make up for that.

Stop complaining already said...

Dear Victims,

ePrize doesn't take years off your life... your complaining and being a victim does. ePrize is not for everyone. If you don't like it, don't work there. You can go be apathetic and lazy elsewhere. ePrize is for specific, creative, unique people who want to push themselves to be their best. They embrace hard-work rather than hide from it. Complainers should go work at Organic with the rest of you. This is a free country. You should work somewhere you like instead of taking a job and then bitching non-stop about it.

By the way, we are getting bonuses while other companies (Chrysler, etc) are bankrupt. How bad could it really be?

Stop reading already said...

And if you don't like this blog, you don't have to read it. :)

Anonymous said...

what happened to the managing director of the NY office?

Anonymous said...

I love it how the only companies that ePrize is ever compared to is the failing out industry.

If that's the only companies that you can definitively say are in worse shape than ePrize than you have just proven everyone's point.

Oh and yes, if you don't like this blog, go else where. If you are just sooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy there, why are you looking here?

Anonymous said...

@ stop complaining

Dear idiot,

Please get over yourself. None of the 'victims' take a damn thing you say seriously. You are getting bonuses congratulations, do they make up for the two days you don't get paid for? Do you _REALLY_ think it is a smart move for the company to give out bonuses if they are truly hurting?

Anonymous said...

I can say for sure that the bonus hasn't made up for my 2 unpaid workdays.

Not to mention that we didn't even get the full bonus, only half of it AND we went all of last year without any bonus AND no one will be getting any raises this year.

Yup, things are just ducky. quack quack.

Stop complaining already said...

Dear last comment complainer... If you are so unhappy and have been for a long time... leave. Seriously, go right now to your leader and QUIT. Bye bye. Go follow your negativity somewhere else. If the place stinks and there is something better out there for you... GO FOR IT.

If you don't have the balls to quit, then stop complaining! To sit there and collect money while you are dripping with negativity and resentment is a crime. Talk about being hypocritical. Either direct your energy into make the place better and embracing it, or split. But sitting there and complaining does neither you nor ePrize any good.

Anonymous said...

@stop complaining already

He doesn't have to, because he can work at a place and not agree with what is going on. If you don't know who is behind that comment, then how do you know that person hasn't already tried to make things better?

Stop acting like life is so wonderful. I've said this before... The people you are directing your messages at are the very people who think you long for your days as a cheerleader.

And The World Could Be A Better Place said...

@Stop Complaining - Have you ever thought that maybe the individual who vexes you tried his/her best to change some of the things at ePrize that they didn't like and have been stopped or even censured for doing so? It's a familiar story as the same thing happened to me.

There's a lot of frustration to be felt when trying to improve something you love and being stopped by those above.

Stop Complaining said...

If you seriously want to make things better, go talk to Linkner. He'll listen. Skip the org chart and just go talk to him. If you make a rational argument for change that will be positive for you and the company, I think you'll have a great audience.

If you really just like to bitch about your job and how the man is keeping you down, that's a different story. Seriously... quit and go somewhere else where you'll be happier.

My point is that you should either make a real effort to improve the things that bother you, or move on. Staying around and being a negative complainer does neither you nor ePrize any good.

Anonymous said...

@stop complaining

Fortunately we don't really have to do a thing you say. Most folks in a position like that guy are faced with taking the risk of going to Linkner with his ideas (do you really trust him?). The risk may not be worth it and the consequence could be alienation or getting fired... Some will just sit and quietly do their work so they can keep paying the bills.

If he chooses to do the latter, it's his choice and you can just STFU about it. If he's not disrupting REAL life at THE OFFICE it is none of your concern. This site is a forum for those that wish to express their unhappiness, people like you who have this warped view of the world do not fit in and are generally seen as a crazy.

Once again... you have no idea if that person has ever tried any of this before so you have no real grounds to go 'you're not trying'.

Anonymous said...

I will say this,

Yes, I currently hate working at 'the prize'.

I have tried to make it better and have faced severe backlash for doing so. This includes attempting to go higher than my leader (ok not all the way to linkner but I'm only going to risk so much. I'm not crazy and some of the things are just way off his radar.)

I faced severe backlash for attempting to go over/around my leader and I've learned my lesson.

That said, I still work my hardest ever damn day and I wouldn't walk around complaining and trying to bring the place down. I'd love to see it successful how it used to be.

And yes, I'm trying to leave thank you very much. Hopefully it comes on my own terms rather than theirs.

I'm sure whichever way it happens I will be spoken of as a traitor, horrible employee for x, y, and z reasons, and an all around son of a bitch.

Anonymous said...

Well, how is life at E-prize these days. How is moral generally. Have many customers switched to other vendors, from what I hear on the street the industry is finally waking up to realize it has choices. Other vendors with excellent creative,lower prices,and motivated employees. SLITHER is real my friend and the arrogance that mocked it will surely woe the day it claimed to the world "we have no real competition" In the next year or so much of the talent that E-prize has nurtured will migrate to the green and happy pastures of SLITHERLAND. Watch out my caped heroes, fantasies fade when the kool aid fund runs dry.

Anonymous said...

We've lost, or are in the process of losing, almost all of our loyalty customers. Even ones that we just transitioned into our hands.

It's just all rainbows and ponies. Now if I can just find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.....

Anonymous said...

That's not true at all. We have tons of loyalty business. Coke, Miller, Disney, etc. We've also won many new ones. You don't know what you are talking about.

I agree with "stop complaining". If you hate this place, stop whinning and just quit.

Anonymous said...

If you hate this blog so much QUIT FUCKING READING IT.

Anonymous said...

"quit reading it" is entirely too complicated of an answer.

Obviously it would be much easier to eliminate everyone else on the planet that doesn't think eprize is all rainbows, ponies, and happiness.

Yeah, way easier.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, you guys just need to move on.

What's wrong with you people????

Anonymous said...

Why move on when part of your audience does nothing but whine about losing control. This is part of the fun, let freedom rain! Our voices will not be silenced. Most oppressive regimes silence their critics with intimidation, fear and brutality. Sorry "Eppits" we live in America and love to talk freely.

Anonymous said...

My God do I love this Blog!!!!

Anonymous said...

"What's wrong with you people????"

Funny... I was just wondering the same thing about you. Sisyphus?

Anonymous said...

As emotionally invested you are in ePrize, so were/are we -- and we feel betrayed.

ePrize offers a lot of promise and it's when you find out that this promise is false that your crushed.

Don't dismiss us so soon as you'll feel that same way, eventually... I guarantee it.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes my ballz tingle with excitement when I read this blog.

Anonymous said...

@tingly

Thread over, you win.

Anonymous said...

In the immortal words of Mr. JK:

"boooya"

Anonymous said...

"That's not true at all. We have tons of loyalty business. Coke, Miller, Disney, etc. We've also [LIED TO PERSEPCITIVE CLIENTS ABOUT THEIR CURRENT PROMO SHOPS AND STOLE] many new ones. You don't know what you are talking about."

FIXED

Anonymous said...

@FIXED

Brilliant :) I'm intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Anonymous said...

So being that today is payday, how are those bonuses looking?

...Or did they not make it into this check?

Anonymous said...

So did bonus get paid or what?

Anonymous said...

That's a big no there good buddy.

Roger doger, over and out.

Anonymous said...

bonuses are not late. They are scheduled to be paid in July as per the plan. We did not "miss" a bonus payment. They are not due yet.

Anonymous said...

I love the word "scheduled" as this appears to be trustworthy, however if the winds or rain are heavy, schedules can be changed in a heartbeat. Watch out for the storm or Hurricane warnings in July. Wise choice of words from someone who really knows what will happen.

Anonymous said...

Wonder if there will be another downsizing just prior to the scheduled payment. That would be a two-fold way to slash the budget.

Anonymous said...

@downsizing,

Way to give them another 'cost cutting' idea.

If half my team gets cut just before the payout, I blame you!

lick said...

you get paid out if you were employed during the quarter in which the bonus is for.

in other words, if you were there for the quarter in which the bonus was awarded, you are entitled to your bonus. whether you stay, leave or get fired before the payout date. and if you don't get it- raise hell.

Anonymous said...

@blamer - You think they haven't already thought of that? You may be surprised to look in the mirror one day and find that those who said they had your back had just rammed a knife right into it.

Blame me, I don't give a fat rat's ass. Those in control have already thought of the next three plans to cut costs even as they're sitting there smiling at you and acting as if they have no idea what's coming. I'm sure of it - I've seen it in action then turned around to find that knife jabbed firmly in the center of my back.

Anonymous said...

@Blamed,

Yeah, I know they've already thought of that.

I know there is a list of people that are 'safe' (up at the top, family, etc..) and I am not on it.

I try to ignore this just to get through the day, but at the end of it all I'm truly just doing myself, and family, a great disservice.

Maybe I'll wake up and smell the coffee one of these days and move on.

I just don't feel quite ready yet. I'm holding out hope for good things to come.

Yours truly,

Delusional

Anonymous said...

http://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/ePrize-Reviews-E27939.htm

Anonymous said...

I realize they need to keep the ePrize Wehrmacht in place to execute Chancellor Linker's master plan to occupy and conquer the entire Promotions Industry, but it still seems like they work people a bit too hard. Why is ePrize such a sweatshop when every other agency in their sector is not?

Anonymous said...

Because Linkner wants a third German sports car?

Anonymous said...

"Third German Car"? Reminds me of a movie where the flashy boss drove the flashy car.

"Um.....yeah....Im going to need you to go ahead and work Saturday....and Sunday, too. Um.....yeah"

Anonymous said...

lol, everyone knows Linker's latest car is english... the rumor is he has a Lotus he won't drive to the office

Anonymous said...

So, how are those bonuses and commissions looking these days?

...or is everyone too scared to ask for the mighty axe looms ready for fresh blood.

Anonymous said...

Beware the ides of eprize....

Anonymous said...

When you refer to "ides" are you suggesting this;

www.ides.state.il.us/


State agency that pays unemployment benefits, collects unemployment taxes, runs the employment service and Illinois Job Bank, and publishes information.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to add -- ForeSee Results, a hip marketing company in Michigan, just hired in more exprizers...Maybe they will not make the same mistakes as ePrize did and actually do well...And look, they hired only 15 people this year..What a concept! Don't overhire so you dont have to layoff to cover your ass!

Here's the cool link -- http://www.internetretailer.com/dailyNews.asp?id=30879

stumpy said...

wtf does ForeSee Results have to do with ePrize aside from hiring exPrizers? They don't do the same kind of work. Good for them- they hired someone who used to work at ePrize. Someone had to hire them eventually. wtf? there is no other connection or purpose in posting about this company, in relation to ePrize.

Anonymous said...

$100 says that funny man Dwoskin made that lame ass post about ForeSkin Results.

Once a douchebag always a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

ForeSee (an internet based company that gathers data) got Dwoskin, Bennett, and Blackman...I posted it just because it was a coincidence that all the exprizers are working together...And stating the fact that the company is hiring normally and not over hiring...That was one of the problems at eprize, which is why, myself included, people were laid off...

Anonymous said...

Dwoskin is still a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

Regardless of what you may think of ePrize, Dwoskin getting hired isn't exactly a ringing endorsement for this other place. Especially if he is just 1 of 15. I'm sure there were more talented people ousted from ePrize in the last rounds....

Anonymous said...

long time reader - First time poster.

@Stop complaining already - you are the reason ePrize will continue to flounder. Whether you are Josh - a great envisioner, but terrible CEO, or Gabe - a complete jackass put into a position of power out of fear.

ePrize is no longer a place where anyone outside of "the crew" can approach josh and have their thoughts truly listened to. He no longer cares. He already made his money and is only looking to do whatever is necessary to sell the company and get out of dodge.

Until the board takes serious action, the company will continue to bleed money and more and more people will continue to lose their jobs. With the exception of Craig Sprinkle, the executive team is completely misplaced and incompetent in their respective jobs. Josh would make a great CMO at any other company, but is currently the laughing stock of every other corporate CEO in SE michigan. Gabe is a great lawyer, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt as top attorney, but as for anything else he couldn't manage the shit out of his own ass. Ivan is a great guy, but at what point is enough enough. The guy has had 5 different titles in the last 2 years all with decreasing responsibility. And as for Jordan. There is just so much to say. First he is useless and is not directly responsible for any productive accomplishments that have ever occurred at ePrize. He acts like a 9 year old boy, and if you are a girl within a visible distance from his office, he has spent the better part of his work day either checking out your facebook pics or making inappropriate comments about the size of your rack.

The long and short of it is ePrize was a great place and I look forward to the day that I get laid off, because unemployement will be close to what I'm paid anyway, and it will come without the bullshit.

Louis Friend said...

That was the best comment I've read in forever.

Anonymous said...

Listen, I can't fault Jordan too much because I like daydreaming about big racks too.