May 13, 2010

And Away We Go...

Looks like our new ePrize CEO Matt Wise proved his namesake when he finally lowered the boom on ePrize EVP of Delivery, Jordan Broad, yesterday. This was one of a few firings and a couple of demotions yesterday -- all of them at the top of the house from where most of the company's problems stem.

I don't know what ePrize will do without Jordan. His input and work has been an invaluable part of the last decade at the company with all of the things he did such as... well... um... scoping out pictures of his female coworkers on FaceBook? And, um.... looking important in his office? And then there was this one time when... wait... what the hell did Jordan do for the last ten years at ePrize other than collect a fairly fat paycheck?

Keep up the good work, Matt. That was probably the best first step you could have taken.

57 comments:

Louis Friend said...

Removed the antisemitic comment. Not appropriate even on such a hate-fueled blog.

Chris said...

So here's the question of the day...How many of the 100+ jobs that have been eliminated in the past 2 years could have been saved, if the first move the board made was to dump Josh and Jordan?

Anonymous said...

Now we just need to get rid of jackie and there can be some real progress made!

Anonymous said...

So who else was knocked down off their mountaintop?

Chris said...

Well Anonymous, Jackie already saw the writing on the wall and quit. Best part is she "...has decided to leave ePrize to embark on the next phase of her career to run her own company as an executive and career advancement coach."

I'm sure if she hadn't quit, it would have been her and Jordan being escorted out hand in hand.

Anonymous said...

You mean Jackie T, the person that had to have her own life coach a couple of years ago because she was so miserable and wasn't sure where her life was going, is now a life/executive coach? She must have made tremendous progress. You know what they say about those who can't do.

Anonymous said...

Jackie was one of the most unstable people I've ever met (with Alesya a close second). She could be your buddy one second and your worst nightmare the next.

She had her own internal laughtrack that only she could hear.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the Jackie hate. Her impact on the company has been minimal, compared to the people like Jordan who made (or didn't make, as the case may be) decisions about the direction of the company. I would be very interested to hear concrete examples of Jackie not doing her job. The most I can figure is that these posts are from people who were put on performance plans, and, as such, had a lot of interaction with Jackie and HR during low points in their careers. She and I haven't always seen eye to eye, but I've never had a dealing with her in which she wasn't 100% blunt and honest, and didn't work hard to do what she thought was right. A far cry from a Jordan or someone else who got along by going along.

Anonymous said...

What are some of the other management changes? And I was never on a performance plan nor were many others. It was reverse payroll, the higher you were paid so long as you were not at least a "director", the less chance you had of staying employed. And boy are there a lot of directors!

Anonymous said...

The irony in all of this is almost supernatural. The Jackie T stuff alone is terrificly hilarious. It is particularly interesting as I hear in her role she "guaranteed people protection"

For fun, Mr. Wise should get rid of the whole Legal Team just because of their smug, disgusting attitudes. I bet the rest of the staff would make a human canopy for them all to walk out under.

Anonymous said...

ePrize will never truly be able to move on until they lose Gabe 'The Hitman' Karp and his superiority complex.

Anonymous said...

Is that PM who never wore a bra still there? Jan or Jen?

Anonymous said...

Of the large amount of people let go over the years, it seems there is more thought into who "should" be let go now. Previously it seemed to have been for strictly monetary reasons (you need to cut $X from your team, pick who that is, and back it up with some bs should they ask why). There are a lot of cliques in the company, and they take care of their own. Many, many good and great people have been let go that were solid performers and integral parts of the company, while so many times after a round of layoffs people would get together and ask each other "why didn't so-and-so get let go? they're f-ing terrible!".

Too bad they couldn't have rid the company of the cancerous tumors that exist and kept the good ones that are long gone, were totally loyal, and could have help rebuild it into the great company it can (and should) be.

Anonymous said...

We have a turd in the punch bowl.

Anonymous said...

I agree with two anons before me. I can think of several people who should have been fired long before all the talented people. cocky, bad-attitude people who waste time and bitch about everything. I guess you just have to sleep with the right people? I should have been more of a whore. and look at all of those fuckin pot heads. that's what it comes down to. you have to smoke pot and/or suck a dick to keep your job there.

Anonymous said...

I worked for this company in 2006-2007 and it was the ultimate PETER PRINCIPLE. There wasn't one member of the senior management team that could ever stand a chance at a c-level position with an established company. Great concept, horrible leadership sunk the ship.

Anonymous said...

For the layoffs, people would have had a better chance if they attended more dev lead pot parties. Now there is a worthless group of nothings. None of them would last at any other company without the safety and security of their clique. That whole group of them was hired together and should be fired together as well. Well, Brian is the only of them that's decent. Good riddance to ChewBarkOff. He was just an ass-kiss that never did anything he said and just told people what they wanted to hear. Real nice guy, but didn't do shit.

Anonymous said...

Another lay off? Who got the shaft this time?

Ryan D said...

You know how sometimes you'll be at McDonald's or Best Buy or wherever, and a customer will just explode on an employee for what seems like no good reason? If I'm next in line I'll usually offer something like, "They're just pissed at the world, not you" because (1) I've been there and (2) there are people that are always ready to ignite. Really they're just discontent with some aspect of their life and they have to let it out on someone, *anyone* to make them feel as if they have control over at least that.

Look, there's always going to be people that don't deserve their jobs. It's called nepotism, or favoritism, or the Peter Principle, or whatever other label you want to throw on it*. Do something about it, in real life, or let it go. Also: IT'S JUST A JOB. Do people really have this much angst for others? And if so, isn't that an exhausting way to live?

* And personally, I don't lump Chuparkoff into this category. I worked with him many times (on projects both large and small) and always found him to seek out the best and most simple solution to any given problem. What else do you want?

Anonymous said...

I still managed to get a few hot interns hired before I was let go. YOU'RE WELCOME, INGRATES.

Anonymous said...

I cant wait for this Thursday nights pot party with the dev leads!

Anonymous said...

Wasn't Chuparkoff the ePrizer-of-the-Year? Amazing how fast you can fall from grace at the Big E.

Anonymous said...

Chuparkoff left for a new job, suckas. He wasn't even close to being let go. Even if his specific role were deemed no longer useful, he could've been kept on in any position. And there's a difference between "kissing ass" and being a pleasant person to work with. Some of you who were canned would do well to learn it.

Anonymous said...

Chuparkoff was a good guy and seemed to actually help things along at ePrizzle. I personally wish him well in his new endeavors.

Anonymous said...

So I hear Organic is letting people go. Mike, are you going to start a, "I hate Organic" blog now that you are on he street again? Two blogs, twice the fodder right? I'm sure there is enough pissing and moaning to go around.

Anonymous said...

Never seen such a sad group of bitter knuckle draggers on the Internet before. Seriously...on the INTERNET. Time to get out of your basement and get a life in the light of day, fuckwads.

Anonymous said...

As far as I can tell, the only thing Jordan ever "Delivered" was a Kroger cake each week to his "weekly production leader meeting".

Anonymous said...

I liked it better when ePrize was explosively self-destructing. This equilibrium of mediocrity is boring the shit out of me. It's making it tough to go into work, these days, knowing that absolutely nothing out of the ordinary is going to happen. No layoff, no benefit or salary cut, no Emergency 90-Day Plan, nothing. Just 8 hours (not even 10 or 12 anymore!) of the same handful of tasks as any other day. Someone needs to hire another Linkner friend or relation, so we can start formulating conspiracy theories again.

Anonymous said...

So how much of the old guard is left?

Anonymous said...

I always hated how Sara Kowal would walk around and wiggle her ass through the office like it was something to look at...

It really, really wasn't.

Dayton said...

Seriously, you need to make posts about someones ass?

I agree with Anonymous 6/26/2010 6:29 PM. This was much better reading when ePrize was a true mess. Unfortunately for me and my reading pleasure it looks like the new guy has turned ePrize into a normal boring company. Crap.

Anonymous said...

Crap indeed.

Anonymous said...

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Anonymous said...

Kowal was nasty...and horrible at what she did, whatever that was. You know when linkner says "Sara is one of the smartest busninesswomen i know" that basically means "Sara is here because i like her!"

Anonymous said...

I heard if you are a gentile at eprize you start 20% below everyone else salary wise.

Discriminatory motherfuckers

Anonymous said...

So with all of the people gone, are there vast unoccupied spaces in the building? Indoor football anyone?

Anonymous said...

Yes there are vast unoccupied spaces after everyone moved to the first floor. They should rent out the empty floors. Maybe that's part of the big plan for increasing profitability.

Anonymous said...

I'd rent that shit to live in if it was cheap.

Anonymous said...

I urge everyone who has been screwed over by Ms Trepanier to voice their opinions anywhere possible in reference to Cultivated Coaching, LLC.

Ms Trepanier has had her hand in maticulously ruining peoples career paths while operating based off of favortism, promoting her friends welfare.

http://www.cultivatedcoaching.com/

I guess I should preface the above with....if this business ever gets off the ground.

Whether it be the BBB, yelp.com, google reviews, etc. Get the word out to Metro Detroiters that this Ms Trepanier is an unprofessional, diabolical woman out for her own gain.

Anonymous said...

"I urge everyone who has been screwed over by Ms Trepanier to voice their opinions anywhere possible in reference to Cultivated Coaching, LLC.

Ms Trepanier has had her hand in maticulously ruining peoples career paths while operating based off of favortism, promoting her friends welfare.

http://www.cultivatedcoaching.com/

I guess I should preface the above with....if this business ever gets off the ground.

Whether it be the BBB, yelp.com, google reviews, etc. Get the word out to Metro Detroiters that this Ms Trepanier is an unprofessional, diabolical woman out for her own gain."


If you really have that bad a problem with someone, then man up and take it to their face. Don't hide behind an anonymous blog post.

Anonymous said...

Well said ANONYMOUS.

Anonymous said...

Isnt this an eprize hate blog? Whats up with all the employees on here? Go start your own pro eprize site and leave us to our anonymous hate in peace.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Isnt this an eprize hate blog? Whats up with all the employees on here? Go start your own pro eprize site and leave us to our anonymous hate in peace.


The last time someone tried that, they got fired :(

Anonymous said...

Is that ironic, or merely sad?

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
Isnt this an eprize hate blog? Whats up with all the employees on here? Go start your own pro eprize site and leave us to our anonymous hate in peace.

The last time someone tried that, they got fired :("

So true. You are warned against "biting your tongue" and they try to push an open culture. But when you do that, they find some way to penalize or fire you for ANYTHING negative.

Anonymous said...

Because the ePrize culture is defined by paranoid, inexperienced, nepotistic leaders/executives.

They say they want Individuals to work there....what they really mean is "We want followers and Yes men."

Even the talent on the prod floor is basically all gone. The people left are defeated, depressed, losers working for a miniscule pay check- not for their passion.

Anonymous said...

It's like rainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn on your wedding day

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 3:07 pm -
Name some of the amazing production talent that ePrize has lost. I can think of one person who's "irreplaceable", as much as anyone can be in a world of 6 billion people, and I can also think of a dozen people who were eminently replaceable.

Anonymous said...

Also, as far as wanting "followers and yes men" - no shit! Forgetting the management, for a minute, every company needs drones to actually do the work. I think a lot of this anti-ePrize bullshit is because they hire a lot of young (either chronologically or emotionally) people who don't understand how the world works. Sorry to sound like a bitter old man, but welcome to reality. The business world is full of deceit, incompetent leadership, and employees who think they're worth more than they are. I hate ePrize too, but I've also hated everywhere else I've worked and will probably hate my next job. At the risk of sounding trite, that's why they have to pay me to show up. If things truly got so bad that I just couldn't take working for someone, anymore, I'd put on my little monkey suit, slick my hair back, and trick some local investors into investing in some bullshit business enterprise. Then I could be my own boss and have people write a blog about me.

IE6Rocks said...

Indeed, you do sound like a bitter old man and you're getting older every day.

Anonymous said...

You almost sound as miserable as an ePrize employee. Maybe you should try therapy?

Anonymous said...

The list of 'key people' is looking pretty short these days!

Anonymous said...

The other day, I was like, "Hey ePrize! How can I possibly have 14 hours on my schedule today?" And they were like, "Oh sorry, that's a mistake. Now you have 10 hours on your schedule, and 3.5 of them are roll-live support and bug time for a couple of prelaunch pages. Thanks for noticing the scheduling error." THAT"S BULLSHIT! DAMN THE MAN! WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? F U AND GIVE ME FREE COKE!

Anonymous said...

and then i...jizzed. in. my. pants.

Anonymous said...

Does it still smell like doggy doo doo on the way to the production room (on the first floor)?

Anonymous said...

Its not Doggy Doo Doo, that's the smell of "fear of losing your job". I suppose both smell like sh*#.

Anonymous said...

that doggy doo smell was actually years of buildup of animals who died because they fell down the chimney and could not climb their way out. the chimney was sealed off at the bottom and when they realized what that smell was, they fixed it. But that was back in like, 2008.